Aftermath
by bleach.and.ink
Summary: Post S7, Buffy and what is left of the Scooby gang is wandering the US. And PTB allow Spike to watch over Buffy, in an attempt at what?
1. Away, Alone

Disclaimer: don't own any of it, wish I did, and I also wish it hadn't ended, but oh well, don't own anything, just like to play with them.

Note: denotes thoughts…as though any of them think…

Note 2: takes place post season 7 (sniffle sniffle), that gang has managed to move on together, all the slayer's taking off too wherever, but what's left of the original gang, plus andrew have all moved on together.

CHAPTER 1 - Away

It's been ten months, since the end, the end of the simple life in Sunnydale. Okay, well not so simple, but ten months. Wow, I still can't believe it. Can't believe that ten months ago today I was leading an army of girls against any army of ubervampires. Now, wow, look at me, residing in another state. Who'd've thunk it? Not me for sure. I always figured that the slayer gig required me to stay in Sunnydale. Well, what was once Sunnydale, for Sunnydale is no more. A lot of things are no more. I miss them, I miss him, but I don't think about it. It's too painful, especially when I'm having a great time traveling the U.S. going from tourist city to tourist city. God I miss him. No I will not think about Spike, can't let myself miss him. Like he said, I didn't love him I was just being-okay back to the card game at hand. Buffy glanced down at her cards, three kings and two fours. How she had this luck at poker no one seemed to know. Maybe it had something to do with being the 'chosen one'. Yeah, that never got her anything but death. But now, she was living the high life in Vegas with her best friends, her sister, and an annoying blonde nerd, with whom her sister seemed to be getting a little too friendly. She tossed a few chips into the center pot and watched other players around her fold. A man sitting opposite from her kept his hand though, and so did an elderly gentleman, who looked as though he could have been her grandfather three times over. They went around the circle once more and Buffy tossed in a few more chips. She was feeling rather lucky, the ancient man folded, but the young one across the table did not. He stayed on as they laid down their cards. He cringed as he saw her begin to lay down her kings, and looked as though he would pass out when she put down not one four, but two.

"I win, again." She grinned stupidly as she pulled the pile of chips over to her side of the table. She'd count up her winnings and cash out. The room was up a few floors and hopefully it was late enough that Dawn would be asleep across the hall. Buffy counted up her winnings and handed them off to a waiting cashier who was more than happy to hand the wad of cash back to Buffy. She smiled graciously and stuffed the money into her pockets, and headed off to find someone worth talking too. Willow and Xander had wanted to walk down the Las Vegas strip at night and watch some of the fountain shows in front of the more ritzier hotels. Dawn had headed up to catch a movie on pay per view and oddly Andrew had joined her. Buffy didn't want to think about what they might be doing. It was weird enough they all thought he was okay to keep around. Sitting down at the bar she ordered up a plain coke. Nothing special tonight, didn't want to lose what she had just won. There were several attractive men hanging around the bar, trying to pick up women, but Buffy found no interest in any of them, they didn't particularly strike her as Buffy-worthy. After an hour of cheesy pick-up lines she decided to call it quits. While walking through the lobby to get to the elevator a familiar tingling sensation crawled up her spine. Sure there were thousands, if not millions of demons in the Las Vegas area. Yet the tingle was somewhat familiar, like she had felt it before. She shook it off as just another vampire passing through. Probably one she had encountered in a cemetery somewhere while patrolling and decided to let it live. They seemed to have measly existences anyway. Buffy looked around the lobby, checking to see the new people checking in. One in particular caught her eye. He was a younger man by appearance, wearing faded jeans and a bright red sweater. Very Riley, Eugh, shake that thought. Yet his hair was strikingly different, it was a very red brown color. Burnt sienna maybe? As he turned around Buffy caught a sight that made her break down inside. His eyes were almost the same as Spike's. Except they were more of a deeper blue. She couldn't help it and ran towards the elevator hoping the stranger wouldn't be heading to the same elevator. She pushed the up button as fast as she could, the stranger got closer and closer to the elevator waiting area. She pushed the button hurriedly, praying she wouldn't lose it in front of someone she didn't know. She had in months past, but this was a new town, and it had been almost a year since he had left her life forever. It used to be anyone wearing a black leather trench coat, and in L.A. that had been quite a problem, seemed they were in season, so the gang said their good-bye's to Angel and company and embarked on their trip. Dawn had taken quite a liking to Steven while in L.A. and had it not been for her utter dislike of Angel, Buffy was quite sure she would have begged to stay at the hotel. Yet Dawn hated Angel too much even for Steven to stay with him. Then it had been anyone with bleached hair, whether they were male or female. The sight of peroxide blonde had set her off during their adventures in Colorado. Winter there was hell on earth, it seemed as though she could never escape someone who wanted to remind her of him. The stranger and his blue eyes were now standing a few feet from Buffy, obviously waiting for the same elevator.

"I couldn't help but notice Miss, but are you okay, you look like you're going to cry. Someone as pretty as you shouldn't be made to cry." He spoke as Buffy ran onto the elevator.

"I'm fine. Thanks, I'm fine." She pressed the button for her floor, 23, Spike had been 123 when he died. WHY THE HELL DO YOU PUNISH ME LIKE THIS??? Her head screamed, everything reminded her of him, she had pushed him to the back of her mind and he was surfacing again. After such a good night her head had to go and ruin things. The elevator ride went on in silence, the lighted button of her floor taunting her as it slowly climbed up the building. She rushed off of the elevator, out of the presence of baby blue eyes, and crumpled to the floor. She fought back tears, which didn't want to stay within the confines of her eyes. They came out like floods and she was sure someone was going to come out of their room and see her sobbing like a little child. They were surely to tell her to be quiet and go away. Buffy forced herself to get up and slowly walk towards her room. She pushed open the door and lay down on the queen bed closest to the wall, unaware that Willow was on the other bed. "Why do you do this too me? Why, do you think him saying that to me wasn't enough? Damnit, make him leave me alone, get him out of my head, I can't handle this anymore. I miss him too much to take much more of this!" Buffy pulled a pillow over her head and lay there, crying herself into a fitful sleep of twisted dreams.

Willow listened intently to Buffy's words, Kennedy resting, undisturbed next to her. They had met in a shop on the strip after Willow told her they were visiting Vegas. Willow wanted to comfort Buffy but she didn't have a clue how. The slayer had been so distant from them all for two years now that she didn't feel as though there was much she could do. She assumed the man Buffy was talking about was the dead peroxide vampire, but she couldn't be sure. Well, she didn't want to limit herself to that one spectrum of man whom Buffy had loved. Willow sat up in bed as soon as she heard Buffy's sobbing stop and figured she had finally fallen asleep. Willow went over to Buffy's side, pulled off her coat and boots and tucked her in under the covers, the new Mr. Gordo at her side, the old one had been consumed along with everything else she had owned when Sunnydale had sucked itself into oblivion. Willow placed a light kiss on Buffy's forehead, not knowing what else to do, she returned to Kennedy's side, and fell into a dreamless sleep.


	2. If Only She Knew

CHAPTER 2 - If Only She Knew

Damn, if only she knew, if only she knew. How many times I sit beside her as she drives the car along the long and winding roads. How many times I reach out to touch her and she shies away from my reach. I watch her cry. I watch her laugh to hide her tears. If only she knew that I really did believe her standing in the Hellmouth. If only she knew I still loved her, and was there beside her, watching her as she buried her head into the pillow and cried herself to sleep. I see her everyday, I see her when things remind her of me, and spark her to start her water works again. Stupid happy meals have to hurt the woman I love. They don't know it, but if I were there, all the look-a-likes, and leather coat wearers wouldn't be around much longer. So much for having my own say around here. Had to fight them to let me wander around down here and watch her. I wasn't doing much good elsewhere anyway, saying I'm too eccentric or something like that. I know what she was talking about, the fuzzy warm feeling. Yeah, had it for a while, didn't like it much, like being around her better. She's all the damned warm fuzzies I need. Watching her go out with bastards she meets at bars hurts me the most though. Knowing that the simplest memory of me is making her do that to herself. Part of me wants to say she deserves that, but all in all, I don't believe she deserves any of it. Still mostly a gentleman after all these decades. My mother had to much of an influence when it came to women. Damn her too, damn all the woman in my life that I love. They make it too hard. Not that being dead dead is hard, it's just… It strains your beliefs, it makes you re-evaluate your situation while you wandered the world, and it doesn't seem so bad. Especially when there aren't that many loved ones up here, and you have your own 'section' because your basically a first time heaven reject. Love the label they've got for me, well they don't have one, but I'm thinking about coming up with something that has a nice jingle to it. I'm like the plague up here though, you think people wouldn't be as prissy, but I guess old habits never die. Just like me not wanting to hang around there too long, and wanting to wander, invisible to anyone, the earth again. Some say I'm like a ghost, nah, they're souls wandering with purpose. I'm just wandering because I don't want to be without her, I want to be with her. Even though it occasionally makes me want to go back up to the big vampire resort in the sky, and on occasion I do, to get my hair re-done of course, I still tag alongside of her. Whispering as though she could hear me. If only she could. See, the first few weeks of me being down here, I thought I could be heard. So I yelled at her, hoping someone would hear me. I screamed in her ears and broke down in tears when I realized, I really was dead. Officially dead, not just undead anymore. I cried like a nancy little baby. Now I have to look back and laugh at how stupid I was. Never figured being dead meant not being able to communicate with that world anymore. Nope, I'm on my own plane of existence now, and as Nibblet would say, it royally sucks. God I miss talking to them, even the whelp, I mean, after losing Anya he doesn't seem to be that bad of a guy. Still can't believe that the three of them let bit hang out with the other kid getting a little to friendly there for my liking, but I guess things change. Like the big hole in the ground that I can stand up and proudly say I made. No more Sunnyhell, no more her, but at least no more Sunnyhell. God I miss her. If only she knew how much I still loved her, and wished I could hold her through those tough nights. If only she knew…

The damned 'powers that be' told me I'd get to talk to her once in a while. Well it's been ten bloody months and I haven't gotten a fucking thing from them. Bunch of lying screw ups if you ask me. Offering me the one thing I want, but not letting me have it, is that what this heaven business is really all about? If it is, I really wouldn't mind getting out and going back down to earth, but I guess that's a little late. God Buffy, how much I want to be with you, to hold you, to smell you just one more time. To tell you that what you said to me in the tunnels meant worlds to me, I just couldn't take it knowing I was going to lose you. You know I love you, damnit, if you only knew how much, and that I still do. Spike absently thought to himself as he sat in the shadows of her hotel room, just watching, unable to touch her or do anything for her. It made him angry beyond words that he could not be there for her when she needed someone the most. He wanted to cry with her, but he only watched as her petite frame racked as she sobbed into the pillow in a vain attempt to smother her tears. He watched until he couldn't take it anymore and lay on the bed beside her, watching his hands slip through very solid form. He just lay there watching her, tears welling up in his own eyes for the pain he caused her to go through, wishing he could make it stop. Wishing there was something more he could do, but there was nothing, because he was an 'other worldly being' and earth beings and 'other worldly beings' did not mix. The damned PTB forbade it and as much as he wanted to interact with her, could not bring himself to break yet another rule that they set up. It was all a test, sooner or later they would be joined somehow, he felt it, how he didn't know, he just figured there wasn't much more they could do to keep in his fuzzy feeling cage. 


End file.
